Other Stuff part 3....

MEMORANDUM

TO :  ALL EMPLOYEES

RE : ADITIONAL TRAINING FOR ALL STAFF

a.  It is now, and always has been, the policy of this company to ensure it's employees are well  trained.    Through  our SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING programme, (S.H.I.T. for short), we have given our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company in the area.

If any employee feels that he or she does not recieve enough S.H.I.T. on the job, or that he or she could advance to another position by taking more S.H.I.T., please see your immediate supervisor.

b. If you graduate to the top of your list by taking all the S.H.I.T. that is given to you, you can then qualify for our Supervisors programme COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY ACTION PROGRAMME, (C.R.A.P for short).

So to become a member of our management team, simply take all the S.H.I.T. you can, and then with all the additional C.R.A.P. you recieve, you will soon reach the top. Any employee who has the initiative and drive to take both S.H.I.T. and C.R.A.P. will soon become one of the elite.

c. For a limited period only, the company is offering all employees the chance to try for our latest scheme, ADVANCED SUPERVISORY STAFF HELPING OUR LOYAL EMPLOYEES, (.A.S.S.H.O.L.E. for short).

d. We recommend an academic qualification and will encourage you to strive for membership of PARSIMONIOUS INSTITUTE OF SUCCESSFUL SUBORDINATES (P.I.S.S. for short). With this benefit you will evenyually know your job from back to front.

Work hard. you will find that the more S.H.I.T. you take and the more C.R.A.P. you can handle, will qualify you as a P.I.S.S.ing A.S.S.H.O.L.E. for sure.