Friday, 19 February 2010

Abit of moaning about owt

What’s going on with the TV at moment? Mind yer we've being saying that fer years

I see Robson Green is back on the box with another series of what he calls Extreme Fishing, yeah right extreme fishing my arse. I watched the first programme & found it very boring, twas that boring you could actually see the dust settling on the TV screen "now that’s boring", I also watched the first five minutes of the second programme & ended up changing channels to watch a repeat of a programme called Hustle, now that was much more interesting at the very least & this week I intentionally forgot to watch extreme fishing & cannot for the life of me think why? Oh yeah I can! It’s very boring & I don't think I’ll bother watching the rest of the series.

So that sums that up about extreme fishing. Anyway speaking about the other programme I mentioned called Hustle, that was on bbc one I think on Monday night 01/02/2010, not the repeat that was on a different channel that I had mentioned above, that was on Thursday night, anyway Monday nights episode, what a programme to watch it had me laughing & that’s something which hasn’t happened for while with the numerous crap that’s aired on the box.

A nice sum of money £160.000, now that’s some hustling & the Twat asked for it, suppose you could say he got his come up pence’s, scamming poor folks with the likes of dodgy mobile phone deals, it was great to see the look on this idiot's face when he saw what he bought for that kind of money. OUCH one hundred & sixty grand for fly swatting equipment, classic.

Now what’s happening on the internet nowadays?

Barbel Wars a new website that’s well just takin the piss outta the Barbel Society at the moment & also Bobs blog has gone quite & someone even suggested Befamwee's gone dull! How very dare they.

Well it's just gone rather quite that’s all.

Twas out shopping the other day

On my travels out shopping the other day "yes well somebody’s gotta do it" I went to my local tackle shop & whilst I was talking to the shop owner this guy walked in the shop & joined in the conversation & after about 10 minutes this conversation turned into well a conversation about people making money out of fishing, so I thought to myself fuckinell here we go, anyway this guy turned round to myself in this conversation & said Bob Roberts for instance how much do you reckon he's worth? He’s gotta be worth a fair bit wouldn’t you think?

So I stood back & paused for moment, thinking about what I was gonna say to this guy & then it clicked, in the back of mind came this answer, so I sez to this guy, nah he's only a tenor, go compare that one & low & behold the guy who owns the shop turns round to myself laughing & sez you cunt & walks out through to the back of the shop shaking his head, & I just stood there PMSL, the other guy found it funny aswell, he even turned round to me afterwards & said I asked for that one didn’t I.

Then I ended up going back to the tackle shop later on that day because I’d forgot what I wanted, all over having a giraffe about Bob Roberts, Grrrrrrr.....

Text messages

I got this text message the other day, it went like this.....

Roses are red, nuts are brown, skirts go up, pants come down, body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff stick it in, it goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer its in, the stronger it gets, it comes out dripping and it starts to sag, its not what you think its a Tetley’s teabag.

Hehehe I got you thinkin dirty then didn’t i.LOL XXX

So I replied......

John yow cunt if that joke was ment for your missus at least send it to her!

& the reply came, oops sorry mate.

Yeah I should bloody well think so an all....

Its a good job I can see the funny side of things, eh.

Been reading the national newspapers recently

So Tiger Woods is still making headlines about his shagging around & just when I’m getting fed up of hearing about it, out of the woodwork comes John Terry, now with a lovely looking wife like that, who needs to play around?

Now John Terry of all people being the England team captain & all that should've known better than to shit on his best mate.

Some people just cannot help themselves, eh, when you've got a nice looking wife, kids, a big house & plenty of money coming in every week, what more could you ask for?

Well your best mate's missus aswell (pun intended).

It then turns out that a number of Chelsea's players have all had a dabble at Wayne Bridge's missus & rumour as it that there is Viagra in the water at Stamford Bridge, just goes to show anything can happen with a Russian mafia in charge.

How long will this scandal be in the papers? And what about another scandal then, Tony Blair on the Iraq inquiry, Quote: To take out Iraq was the right thing to do & after that I had plans to invade Iran.

Talk about guilty as charged, there’s an hanging offence if ever I saw one & will he get away with it, yer gawd damn right he will...


Anyway that’s enough moaning now, lets move on to summat else....

Alright before I move on to summat else, Cappelo didn’t mess about sacking JT, so the England captain’s job is up for grabs. Then what about Ashley Cole? Well it just gets worse doesn’t it!

Summat else, but still moaning

Two weeks into the new kitchen & bathroom being done, that’s being pushed to a third week, could go to a fourth, feckin Yorkies I’ll never have em again. What happened to a 9 to 5 job these days, eh? These fecker’s only work from 9 till 12 Mon to Fri & they get paid a fulltime wage for it, okay the electricians & plasterers do work 9 to 5 but the fecking plumbers, tilers & chippies are a right bunch of idle barstewards.

I cannot get the stuff done that I want to get sorted because of em & feck knows what the painters & decorators are like, shall find out next week & has for gerrin the central heating done after they’re finished, well I ain’t havin no Yorkies oh no, that’s gonna be a local firm, at least then it won’t take half as long.

I found out the other day, the reason as to why this bunch of Yorkies ‘appen to be so idle thou knows, their only ex bloody coal miners, damn you, now there’s mistake I’ll never make again.

Has anybody ever had Yorkies do em a job & later questioned, em why the fuck it takes em so damn long ter finish the job?

Now when I mentioned ex bloody coal miners, these lot ain’t ex national coal board, no these feckers are ex UK coal & RJB miners & rumour has it these feckers are even worse than ex NCB’s.

Then an old saying sprung to my mind, this is what my great grandfather used to say when things didn’t go to plan….

Dear Mother it’s a bastard, & Dear Son so are you.

So if I never hear the words Donny, Sheffield, fuckin bastard Rotherham, leeds & cuntin Bradford for a fair while, I’ll be very happy.

Not havin much luck at the moment with me fishing two sessions out last weekend & blanked. It must be summat to do with these feckin Yorkies, I know.

Well enough of that me thinks, If you don't suceed the first time, try, try again.

Ok there is always this weekends lottery, thats if i can be arsed to gerra ticket.
& Its bloody freezing oop north, cannot wait for all this snow ter feck orf.

Moaning over.

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